Perhaps Not the Best Idea
by whirlyite
Summary: A oneshot inspired by the episode "Everyone Has a Brother-in-Law".


**PERHAPS NOT THE BEST IDEA**

"_I would rather try to persuade a man to go along, because once I have persuaded him, he will stick. If I scare him, he will stay just as long as he is scared, and then he is gone." - General Dwight David Eisenhower_

Colonel Hogan sat at his desk, his hands steepled against his lips. He was already second guessing his decision to 'volunteer' Corporal Newkirk for an escape attempt that was supposedly sanctioned by Klink's new adjutant. A knock sounded at the door and he called, "Come."

Kinch entered quietly and closed the door behind him. "Peter left a few minutes ago, Colonel."

Hogan nodded distractedly as he replied, "Thanks." He glanced over at his XO, who hadn't made any effort to leave. "Is there something on your mind, Kinch?"

"Yes sir, there is. I could tell he really didn't want to go and I have to say I don't blame him. He doesn't trust this Captain Kurtz. Actually, none of us do."

The Colonel sighed. "Do you think I made a mistake, Kinch?"

"It's not for me to say Colonel. It's just that this Kraut Captain is an unknown quantity. It might not have been the best idea to stake Peter's life on his so-called word of honor."

Hogan looked back down at his desk and had just raised his head to reply when the sharp percussion of machine gun fire tore through the air.

"Peter!" cried Kinch. Both men ran out to the common room, where Carter and LeBeau were already on their feet, preparing to dash outside. Kinch grabbed each of them by an arm and pulled them back away from the door.

"Whoa, fellas! Calm down! Where do you think you're going?"

"Outside to help Pierre!" shouted LeBeau as he struggled to escape Kinch's grasp.

"Yeah, he might be hurt Kinch! We've got to help him!" yelled Carter. "Let me go!"

"No one is going out that door, do you understand me?" Hogan used his harshest command tone to get through to his distraught men. His voice softened as he murmured, "We don't need to take any more risks tonight."

A moment passed before the two men finally stopped resisting. Kinch released them and they both sank down to sit at the table with their heads in their hands.

"Pierre did not want to go out there," muttered LeBeau. Carter nodded his agreement.

"I know Louis. He told me he didn't trust that Captain Kurtz any farther than he could throw Big Ben."

The Colonel stepped over to peer out the door, then sighed as he closed it. "I'm sorry fellas, but I had to know what this Kraut's game is."

"Pierre might be lying dead out there!" cried LeBeau.

Kinch moved to sit beside the Frenchman. He put a hand on LeBeau's shoulder as he spoke. "Calm down, Louie. We don't know anything for sure. Let's not get upset until we know what's happened."

LeBeau settled down just a bit. "Oui, you are right Kinch. I wish we could find out what has happened!"

Carter had jumped up to watch the door and he turned to hiss, "Someone's coming!"

The men scrambled out of the way as Schultz barreled through the door. There was something very different about the German guard's demeanor; he was obviously and genuinely angry. He walked right up to the Colonel and shook his finger in the American officer's face.

"Colonel Hogan! What was the Engländer doing out there tonight? Was it monkey business? Don't you know that he could have been killed by that crazy Captain Kurtz?"

Hogan grabbed Schultz by his shoulders. "Is he…?"

Schultz mellowed a bit at the Colonel's show of concern. "Nein, he is not hurt. Scared and upset, yes. I just left him in the cooler; the Kommandant gave him 30 days in solitary. Newkirk asked me to come and get his coat for him."

"Thank God!" Carter and LeBeau exclaimed simultaneously.

Kinch got up to retrieve Newkirk's greatcoat and he also grabbed Newkirk's blanket off his bunk. He passed both items to the German guard before he ushered him towards the door. "Thanks for letting us know, Schultzie."

Schultz cast one last reproachful glare in Hogan's direction as Kinch hustled him towards the door and he spoke as if chiding one of his own children. "Colonel Hogan, what were you thinking?"

After Schultz left, the Colonel wrapped his arms around himself and shook his head. "This wasn't one of my best ideas, was it?"

The men remained silent, deflated by the sudden surge of adrenaline. Kinch finally stepped forward.

"I have to agree with you there, Colonel."

"Thanks Kinch, I knew I could count on you." He paced around the table as he spoke. "Men, I won't apologize for a command decision. However, I will tell you that I regret this particular one even though because of what happened, I now know what I needed to know about this Kraut Captain."

Carter got up and approached his CO. "Colonel?"

Hogan looked at him. "Yes Carter?"

"I think it would be nice if you told Peter that as well. Schultz said he was scared and upset. That doesn't sound good to me."

Kinch raised his eyebrows as he stared at Carter. "Don't you think you've gone a bit far Andrew?"

Carter blushed and tried to backpedal. "Well, uh, I'm…I'm sorry Colonel. I'm just worried about Peter."

The Colonel stood unmoving and silent. He finally sat down at the head of the table and looked at each of his command crew before he spoke. "No, it's all right Kinch. Andrew's right, I owe Peter an explanation and I can't let it wait thirty days. I'll go see him tonight after lights out."

* * *

Newkirk lay on the cot in solitary, staring up at the ceiling. He had finally managed to stop shaking, though for some reason, the small of his back ached horribly. His flippant responses upon capture had been fuelled by a surge of adrenaline; however, as soon as the door to the cell slammed shut he had begun trembling so badly he couldn't even light a cigarette. He had never been so nakedly exposed to live gunfire and it had unnerved him more than he wanted to admit.

He wondered what on earth the Colonel had been thinking when he volunteered him for this assignment. _We'll find out tomorrow night indeed! Well, I sure as hell found out! Just like Klink said, I walked right into a trap. Thanks a lot Gov'nor!_

Thankfully Schultz had let him keep his ciggies and he finally managed to get one lit. He took a deep drag, hoping it would calm his nerves enough to try to sleep. He concentrated on taking deep breaths alternating with drags on the cigarette. He flicked the butt away when finished and threw an arm across his eyes.

He heard the scrape of the block which hid the tunnel into the cooler and didn't even bother to look.

"Go 'way Louie. I'm not 'ungry."

The voice that replied definitely wasn't LeBeau's.

"That's okay, I don't have any food. Just a thermos full of hot cocoa to keep the chill at bay."

Newkirk sat up in surprise. "Colonel? What are you doin' 'ere?"

"For one thing, to check on you and see how you're doing."

The Englishman flopped back down on the cot. "All right for someone who's just barely escaped bein' fodder for a machine gun," he huffed.

Newkirk's tone told Hogan all he needed to know about his Corporal's state of mind. He sat down at the end of the cot, poured a cup of cocoa and offered it to Newkirk.

"No thanks sir."

"Sorry Peter, I'm afraid that's an order."

"Another bleedin' order? Why do I always get bloody volunteered for assignments like this?" He sat up abruptly and took the cup from his CO.

"I didn't say who issued that order, now did I?"

"Huh?"

"Louis ordered me to make sure you drank the cocoa."

"Oh, uh, sorry Colonel. I'm...I'm...still a bit shook up if you don't mind me sayin' so."

"I don't mind at all because the other reason I came is to explain why I ordered you to make that escape attempt."

"Well I 'ope it was worth it Colonel, because you sent me right into a trap! I could've been shot!"

"Kurtz is clamping down hard and his influence over Klink is not good for our operation. Plus we still have to take care of that munitions train. I now know that we have to get rid of this Kraut immediately. Thanks to you, there's no doubt as to his agenda and I've got his real number."

"Colonel, those bullets 'it the ground less than a meter in front of me!" cried Newkirk.

"I don't doubt it Peter. Unfortunately, that's the toughest burden of command. Every day officers send their men in harm's way, all the while knowing that some won't be coming back. It is a very, very heavy responsibility and believe it or not, I do not take it lightly."

"Coulda fooled me", muttered Newkirk as he shook his head slowly.

"I try to protect my men insofar as I can. I hope and pray this war ends with all of us safe, but I can't control all the factors. Like this Kraut Captain. There was the small chance he could've been on the level. I deemed that chance worth taking." He looked closer at his English Corporal. "You know you could've backed out if you genuinely didn't agree with me."

Newkirk looked his CO directly in his eyes as he answered. "Yeah I suppose yer right about that Colonel. You'd never force me to do somethin' I really didn't want to do. I guess...I guess that deep down inside, I do trust you with me life."

"I'm glad to hear that. You might be happy to know that Schultz gave me a good bawling out and I grant you permission to do the same if you think I deserve it."

Newkirk sighed heavily. "No sir, that's not me place. I still wonder if it was worth puttin' me life in jeopardy!"

"I guess that's something both you and I will have to seriously think about Peter. We should thank God that you weren't injured. Thirty days in solitary doesn't sound that bad compared with what could've happened."

"Yeah I reckon yer right there Colonel. I'm...I'm sorry sir."

"You don't have to apologize to me Corporal. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but remember, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!"

"Blimey I don't know how much stronger I care to be if this is what it takes!"

Hogan chuckled with relief at Newkirk's snarky retort. _He's going to be all right!_ he thought to himself. He stood up and headed over to the tunnel entrance.

"Well I guess that's all then. Get some sleep Peter, you need it. Any messages for the guys?"

"Tell me little mate thanks for the cocoa. It does 'elp keep a bloke warm in this icebox."

"He'll appreciate that. I'll ask him to make you extra special meals for the duration of your sentence."

"Colonel don't you think you've put me in enough danger for one night?"

Hogan laughed out loud at that and continued laughing as he crawled back into the tunnel.


End file.
